Change is Hard

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." -Arnold Bennett

Why is change so hard? Have you ever asked yourself that? There are many reasons why change is hard, but one of the biggest reasons is because it requires something of ourselves.

My wife, Cari is a champion of change and has had to endure a change that many of us will never understand.

Three and half years ago our family was in a terrible car accident. Cari had been warned by her doctors, she needed to slow down, or her pregnancy of 7 months may not make it to month 9. One dark night, after enjoying some rest and relaxation in an attempt to heed the doctors warning, our little compact car hit a black cow standing directly in the middle of the road. With no time to react, that little car impacted the cow at 70 miles an hour. The low profile of the car took out the cows legs just enough to let it rip through the passenger side of the car where Cari was sitting. When the vehicle came to a stop, the damage to the vehicle was total, the damage to Cari was immeasurable.

After a week in the Surgical ICU, Cari finally was able to see herself for the first time. As she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she instinctively looked behind her, because there was no initial recognition of what she saw. The toll to Cari consisted of a broken right arm, numerous facial fractures, and lacerations that had required multiple surgeries on top of being 7 months pregnant. Now there was a choice, to slip into despair and loose all of Cari, or just the physical representation that even she was use to.

I am happy to say, as her husband, that who Cari is, is still very apparent. I believe that any one that knows her would agree, she is still the same. Cari's thought on the matter were that it has been easier because no one was killed in an accident that could have turned fatal very quickly.

Fast forward three and half years. Here comes more change. Only this change has been considerably more difficult. You might ask yourself why? In February of 2012 Cari made the decision to go back in for surgery. The hope was to fix the complications that could not be repaired under the circumstances of the accident years before. What made this change the hardest? Cari had to make the choice. No one else could make this choice for her. It was hers to make, she would be the one to endure surgery and recovery. Without a doubt it would impact others, her children, her husband, her aspirations, and her own quality of life. In the short term, the list of reasons why she should not go through surgery was exhaustive, In the long term, it had to be done.

Making a decisive, actionable, choice is exactly why change is so hard. We have to do something. If we think for one minute, that if we choose to do nothing, then nothing will happen, we are wrong. Something always happens. The real issue becomes how we react to our choice of doing nothing. Will we, will YOU be happy with YOUR choice, or will YOU resent and regret not having made a choice. If you choose, to make a choice, to take action and change, undoubtedly you will be happier in your life. It will not matter if you make the right choice, or the wrong choice, you will have made a choice and from that choice you will learn. When you learn, you will change and when you change, you will grow.

My wife is a great example of choice, of change and of supporting me, as I change. I could not make the choices that I make without her. If anything ever happened to her, it would greatly impact the choices that I make, and hinder the changes in my own life. I am grateful, that a cow on a dark road was less tough than you Cari, I love you!