"When you play it too safe, you are taking the biggest risk of your life!" -Barbara Sher
About 2 weeks ago, I had listed out some ideas for posts that I wanted to cover at some point. The title was, "What Are You Risking." I had not chosen the quote, nor had I chosen the content, but I am always drawn to the idea that you have to risk something before you can gain something. To give you some insight into how these posts develop, most times, I have either a quote, or a story in mind and then I dig up something to fit the rest of it.
This idea hit me when I was watching my two son's soccer games. The first game was my 9 year old son's game. I was watching, and waiting, as he was getting ready for the kickoff after the other team had just scored. As I watched my son intently, I noticed when he kicked the ball, it barely made it the 4 feet to his team mate who was waiting for it to arrive. It seemed a little odd to me that he didn't put much behind the kick, but I hollered at him to go after the ball and help his team.
At this point I didn't think too much more about it until I went to watch my younger son who was 6 years old play his game. As I stood watching and waiting for this younger group of kids line up for a similar kickoff after the other team scored, I noticed a very different scenario. This group of 6 year old kids kicked that ball as hard as a 6 year old could, and then, in a well choreographed surge, they all took off after the ball.
I stood there thinking and contemplating about the two separate games and the two very different approaches that these groups of kids demonstrated. I realized what I just saw is what many of us do with our own lives.
As we age, maybe looking for a safe haven from life, work, or our daily routines, we become safe. Maybe we stay at that job that we have been at forever, because it is safe and comfortable. Maybe we don't approach or talk to that one person, because the rejection would be too humiliating. Maybe we stay the same because the change is too hard. Whatever it may be in our lives, let's start looking at it from the 6 year old perspective. Kick it hard as you can and then run after it with everything you've got.
I am not saying to go out and quite your job on the spot, but maybe start looking for something else. Say hello to that person that looks familiar to you, but you are not quite sure from where. Realize that indeed, you do need to make some changes and then make small changes. One day you will wake up after making many small changes and realize that the biggest change of all has occurred, YOU have improved.
The bottom line is this... take action on a decision that you have been putting off for some time now. Take a risk and reap the reward!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
What is your Reaction
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." -Epictetus
Reaction. For many, life is one reaction after another. Most of the time, those reactions are what defines who we are. It is what our children may remember about us when they are grown. It may be what we remember about our parents. To be able to control ourselves and how we react, that is the ultimate goal. Reactions in our lives can turn a moment that is not a big deal into a huge deal in an instant. Let me illustrate.
My little girl was moving into her new room. In light of this momentous occasion, she could not possibly move into the drab looking room that would be hers. She is a girly girl, and thus, she needed a girly room. Being the great father that I am, I decided that I would get this little project out of the way quickly. I made my way to Home Depot early in the morning, and picked up the few supplies that I would need. I was in a good mood on this day and was proud of myself for getting started on my project so early.
I spent plenty of time putting down a drop cloth and taping off the area that would be painted a very girly, and very bright pink. It did not take long before my wall was more pink than it was drab. It also did not take long before I had an audience of admirers. My wife was impressed that I was being so pro-active to get the painting done, my daughter was ecstatic to see pink going on the wall. It was my daughter specifically that had to stay and watch her dad in action. She kept circling the room saying, "thank you daddy for painting my room for me..."
Before I knew what happened my daughter circled too close to the work area, she tripped on the drop cloth and hit the ground, right into the pink paint.
Now would be a great time to react coolly and calmly, but instinct took over and I out of my mouth came the words firmly... "Kaylee, don't move!" That didn't work, and in a panic to get the paint off, Kaylee proceeded to smear the pink paint all over the exposed carpet. It happened so fast that the only way to stop the carnage was to grab her by her britches and lift her into the air.
The point that I want to illustrate here, is that many times we can actually make moments worse when we choose to react to situations that come upon us suddenly. If we slow down and speak slower, softer, and calmer, than every situation can turn out a little better. Everyone makes mistakes and even more often, others do not react the same as we would, but we could all use a little slower reaction time. Think about it, think about the times in your life that someone was calm and slow to react to your actions.
Maybe your actions were deserving of reactions that were more instinctual and fly off the handle, but have you had a moment or two that were pleasantly less reactive.
So, this is the challenge, don't react out of instinct. Knee jerk reactions are seldom the best course of action. Take action, but make it less of a reaction.
Reaction. For many, life is one reaction after another. Most of the time, those reactions are what defines who we are. It is what our children may remember about us when they are grown. It may be what we remember about our parents. To be able to control ourselves and how we react, that is the ultimate goal. Reactions in our lives can turn a moment that is not a big deal into a huge deal in an instant. Let me illustrate.
My little girl was moving into her new room. In light of this momentous occasion, she could not possibly move into the drab looking room that would be hers. She is a girly girl, and thus, she needed a girly room. Being the great father that I am, I decided that I would get this little project out of the way quickly. I made my way to Home Depot early in the morning, and picked up the few supplies that I would need. I was in a good mood on this day and was proud of myself for getting started on my project so early.
I spent plenty of time putting down a drop cloth and taping off the area that would be painted a very girly, and very bright pink. It did not take long before my wall was more pink than it was drab. It also did not take long before I had an audience of admirers. My wife was impressed that I was being so pro-active to get the painting done, my daughter was ecstatic to see pink going on the wall. It was my daughter specifically that had to stay and watch her dad in action. She kept circling the room saying, "thank you daddy for painting my room for me..."
Before I knew what happened my daughter circled too close to the work area, she tripped on the drop cloth and hit the ground, right into the pink paint.
Now would be a great time to react coolly and calmly, but instinct took over and I out of my mouth came the words firmly... "Kaylee, don't move!" That didn't work, and in a panic to get the paint off, Kaylee proceeded to smear the pink paint all over the exposed carpet. It happened so fast that the only way to stop the carnage was to grab her by her britches and lift her into the air.
The point that I want to illustrate here, is that many times we can actually make moments worse when we choose to react to situations that come upon us suddenly. If we slow down and speak slower, softer, and calmer, than every situation can turn out a little better. Everyone makes mistakes and even more often, others do not react the same as we would, but we could all use a little slower reaction time. Think about it, think about the times in your life that someone was calm and slow to react to your actions.
Maybe your actions were deserving of reactions that were more instinctual and fly off the handle, but have you had a moment or two that were pleasantly less reactive.
So, this is the challenge, don't react out of instinct. Knee jerk reactions are seldom the best course of action. Take action, but make it less of a reaction.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Change is Hard
"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." -Arnold Bennett
Why is change so hard? Have you ever asked yourself that? There are many reasons why change is hard, but one of the biggest reasons is because it requires something of ourselves.
My wife, Cari is a champion of change and has had to endure a change that many of us will never understand.
Three and half years ago our family was in a terrible car accident. Cari had been warned by her doctors, she needed to slow down, or her pregnancy of 7 months may not make it to month 9. One dark night, after enjoying some rest and relaxation in an attempt to heed the doctors warning, our little compact car hit a black cow standing directly in the middle of the road. With no time to react, that little car impacted the cow at 70 miles an hour. The low profile of the car took out the cows legs just enough to let it rip through the passenger side of the car where Cari was sitting. When the vehicle came to a stop, the damage to the vehicle was total, the damage to Cari was immeasurable.
After a week in the Surgical ICU, Cari finally was able to see herself for the first time. As she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she instinctively looked behind her, because there was no initial recognition of what she saw. The toll to Cari consisted of a broken right arm, numerous facial fractures, and lacerations that had required multiple surgeries on top of being 7 months pregnant. Now there was a choice, to slip into despair and loose all of Cari, or just the physical representation that even she was use to.
I am happy to say, as her husband, that who Cari is, is still very apparent. I believe that any one that knows her would agree, she is still the same. Cari's thought on the matter were that it has been easier because no one was killed in an accident that could have turned fatal very quickly.
Fast forward three and half years. Here comes more change. Only this change has been considerably more difficult. You might ask yourself why? In February of 2012 Cari made the decision to go back in for surgery. The hope was to fix the complications that could not be repaired under the circumstances of the accident years before. What made this change the hardest? Cari had to make the choice. No one else could make this choice for her. It was hers to make, she would be the one to endure surgery and recovery. Without a doubt it would impact others, her children, her husband, her aspirations, and her own quality of life. In the short term, the list of reasons why she should not go through surgery was exhaustive, In the long term, it had to be done.
Making a decisive, actionable, choice is exactly why change is so hard. We have to do something. If we think for one minute, that if we choose to do nothing, then nothing will happen, we are wrong. Something always happens. The real issue becomes how we react to our choice of doing nothing. Will we, will YOU be happy with YOUR choice, or will YOU resent and regret not having made a choice. If you choose, to make a choice, to take action and change, undoubtedly you will be happier in your life. It will not matter if you make the right choice, or the wrong choice, you will have made a choice and from that choice you will learn. When you learn, you will change and when you change, you will grow.
My wife is a great example of choice, of change and of supporting me, as I change. I could not make the choices that I make without her. If anything ever happened to her, it would greatly impact the choices that I make, and hinder the changes in my own life. I am grateful, that a cow on a dark road was less tough than you Cari, I love you!
Why is change so hard? Have you ever asked yourself that? There are many reasons why change is hard, but one of the biggest reasons is because it requires something of ourselves.
My wife, Cari is a champion of change and has had to endure a change that many of us will never understand.
Three and half years ago our family was in a terrible car accident. Cari had been warned by her doctors, she needed to slow down, or her pregnancy of 7 months may not make it to month 9. One dark night, after enjoying some rest and relaxation in an attempt to heed the doctors warning, our little compact car hit a black cow standing directly in the middle of the road. With no time to react, that little car impacted the cow at 70 miles an hour. The low profile of the car took out the cows legs just enough to let it rip through the passenger side of the car where Cari was sitting. When the vehicle came to a stop, the damage to the vehicle was total, the damage to Cari was immeasurable.
After a week in the Surgical ICU, Cari finally was able to see herself for the first time. As she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she instinctively looked behind her, because there was no initial recognition of what she saw. The toll to Cari consisted of a broken right arm, numerous facial fractures, and lacerations that had required multiple surgeries on top of being 7 months pregnant. Now there was a choice, to slip into despair and loose all of Cari, or just the physical representation that even she was use to.
I am happy to say, as her husband, that who Cari is, is still very apparent. I believe that any one that knows her would agree, she is still the same. Cari's thought on the matter were that it has been easier because no one was killed in an accident that could have turned fatal very quickly.
Fast forward three and half years. Here comes more change. Only this change has been considerably more difficult. You might ask yourself why? In February of 2012 Cari made the decision to go back in for surgery. The hope was to fix the complications that could not be repaired under the circumstances of the accident years before. What made this change the hardest? Cari had to make the choice. No one else could make this choice for her. It was hers to make, she would be the one to endure surgery and recovery. Without a doubt it would impact others, her children, her husband, her aspirations, and her own quality of life. In the short term, the list of reasons why she should not go through surgery was exhaustive, In the long term, it had to be done.
Making a decisive, actionable, choice is exactly why change is so hard. We have to do something. If we think for one minute, that if we choose to do nothing, then nothing will happen, we are wrong. Something always happens. The real issue becomes how we react to our choice of doing nothing. Will we, will YOU be happy with YOUR choice, or will YOU resent and regret not having made a choice. If you choose, to make a choice, to take action and change, undoubtedly you will be happier in your life. It will not matter if you make the right choice, or the wrong choice, you will have made a choice and from that choice you will learn. When you learn, you will change and when you change, you will grow.
My wife is a great example of choice, of change and of supporting me, as I change. I could not make the choices that I make without her. If anything ever happened to her, it would greatly impact the choices that I make, and hinder the changes in my own life. I am grateful, that a cow on a dark road was less tough than you Cari, I love you!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Goals Need Adjustment
"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps." -Confucius
I went for a great run this morning. Like I always do, I start out excited, but by the time I finished the first 1/4 mile, I am ready to throw in the towel. What makes this even more disappointing to me is the fact that up until about a year ago, I was running farther, faster and more consistently.
It was February 2011. My competitive side got the best of me when my brothers set up a family challenge. The challenge was to see what team could run the most miles in a month. Just to give you a little background, this is not something that is taken lightly in my family, and my contribution to the team was 130 miles in shortest month of the year. Needless to say, my body may not have been as ready for the challenge as my mind was and I created an injury that slowed me down, way down. After that injury, I didn't have the physical ability to push the same way, but the greater toll was to my mental strength. It has only been in the last month or two, a year later, that I am starting to get it back, but I have to push through the mental barriers more than anything.
Disappointment can set in at anytime, in many aspects of our lives. It can be at home, at school, at work, or on a daily run. We can hit a rough patch anytime when we see our lives for what they are, imperfect manifestations of our own expectations. The hard part is continuing to push forward, when all we really want to do is to call it quits. The most interesting thing happens though, when we become focused and determined to not give up. We get stronger! It can become apparent in the goals of our lives. We will have set backs, and we may become discouraged, but we can always stand back up, brush the dust, dirt and grime from our scraped up knees and take another step forward. All we need is one more step. Don't think about all of the steps that you have to take to reach your big goal, think about the little steps that will still move you closer to that goal.
We have so much strength and power inside each of us. If we take the time to think about it, we can achieve more, and push through the things in front of us, that just seem hard. Let yourself see those things for what they are, and then, get up and move on.
So, was my run this morning great because I hated it at the first 1/4 mile. Emphatically, I say no! I did not quite, just because it was hard. I took one more step, about 11,000 times and finished my 6 1/2 mile run. That is what makes it great, I can look back and say, "I did that, I accomplished something!"
So, what have you accomplished in your lives? What can you do to take one more step forward? Well... off you go then, go do something about it.
I went for a great run this morning. Like I always do, I start out excited, but by the time I finished the first 1/4 mile, I am ready to throw in the towel. What makes this even more disappointing to me is the fact that up until about a year ago, I was running farther, faster and more consistently.
It was February 2011. My competitive side got the best of me when my brothers set up a family challenge. The challenge was to see what team could run the most miles in a month. Just to give you a little background, this is not something that is taken lightly in my family, and my contribution to the team was 130 miles in shortest month of the year. Needless to say, my body may not have been as ready for the challenge as my mind was and I created an injury that slowed me down, way down. After that injury, I didn't have the physical ability to push the same way, but the greater toll was to my mental strength. It has only been in the last month or two, a year later, that I am starting to get it back, but I have to push through the mental barriers more than anything.
Disappointment can set in at anytime, in many aspects of our lives. It can be at home, at school, at work, or on a daily run. We can hit a rough patch anytime when we see our lives for what they are, imperfect manifestations of our own expectations. The hard part is continuing to push forward, when all we really want to do is to call it quits. The most interesting thing happens though, when we become focused and determined to not give up. We get stronger! It can become apparent in the goals of our lives. We will have set backs, and we may become discouraged, but we can always stand back up, brush the dust, dirt and grime from our scraped up knees and take another step forward. All we need is one more step. Don't think about all of the steps that you have to take to reach your big goal, think about the little steps that will still move you closer to that goal.
We have so much strength and power inside each of us. If we take the time to think about it, we can achieve more, and push through the things in front of us, that just seem hard. Let yourself see those things for what they are, and then, get up and move on.
So, was my run this morning great because I hated it at the first 1/4 mile. Emphatically, I say no! I did not quite, just because it was hard. I took one more step, about 11,000 times and finished my 6 1/2 mile run. That is what makes it great, I can look back and say, "I did that, I accomplished something!"
So, what have you accomplished in your lives? What can you do to take one more step forward? Well... off you go then, go do something about it.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
A Helping Hand
"When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything that you can do. Think up something appropriate, and do it." -E.W. Howe
It is easy to get wrapped up in ourselves.
Around the Christmas holiday season, for some reason, it is easy to try and think of others. It might be easy to imagine a little girl or boy on Christmas morning that has no presents to open. It is easier to think of the homeless shelter that is running low on food, especially around the holidays. It is easy to dig a little deeper and give to those that might be less fortunate, when we are running around and spending so much time and money on our close friends and family.
What do we do though when it is not the "special" holiday season?
Today was a day that illustrated this quote perfectly. I have been blessed in my life to witness this type of giving at times not just attached to the holidays and I would like to share one of these experiences.
For those readers that may not know me or my family very well, you may not know that our family was in a terrible car accident about 3 1/2 years ago. That accident did not end tragically with a death, as some families have had to deal with, but it left my wife in critical care, with no shortage of follow-up care that was necessary. This February, she went in for additional surgery that repaired damage to the skeletal structure in her face, forehead, and eyes. I took off from work as long as I could, and reluctantly returned, in attempt to save some time off for future follow-up surgeries that will take place this year.
So, how does this relate to this quote today? Today, out of the blue, one of our neighbors just showed up at our house. I am going to name this individual, maybe for posterity, but Cheree Caldwell wanted to help. She is a school teacher by day, and by night has a family of her own to maintain. Because this week is Spring Break, she has a little more time than normal. When she knocked on our door, you can imagine my wife's surprise, as she proceeded to say she was there to pick up the children. She wanted to watch them for the day, so that my wife, can get some much needed rest. Of course Cari, my wife, initially rejected the idea, but Cheree would not let up. She was successful at getting the kids out from under foot.
Tonight, when I returned from a long day at work, it was a different welcome home as my wife relayed all that had occurred throughout the day. Cari was able to get some items from her task list accomplished, uninterrupted by her children. She was able to take a nap, and if you know my wife, that is not an easy thing to do. The graciousness of Cheree did not end there, when she dropped the kids off, she also dropped off dinner, which was hand picked according to the tastes of my children. That also, if you knew my kids, means a lot.
I have had other neighbors and friends that remind me, sometimes people just need a pick-me-up every once in a while. It is a constant reminder that I need to be more conscious of others, and do more to lift the spirits of those around me. I think that we hold ourselves back because we are not sure what to do, but if we spend a little time in thought, I believe that we can think of something to "DO" instead of running around, annoying people by asking, "What can we do."
Monday, April 9, 2012
Think Big
"It is better to aim
for the stars and miss, than to aim for a pile of manure and hit it."
-Anonymous
How often do we do just the opposite of this quote? I have always loved this quote because I have to shoot high. I know no other way, otherwise I find myself up to my eyeballs in stuff that frankly just gets sticky. How does that saying go, "the air is better up there."
Let me illustrate.
I once owned a restaurant. Now let me say right off the bat, holding all the liability for something of this nature was no easy task. I thought that just because I had worked for many years in the restaurant industry, I was now an expert in the matter. I have since learned, I have plenty to learn, and I am able to keep my mind open to the idea of constant learning.
When I first opened my restaurant I had big goals. I hired 16 employees right out of the gate and we opened the doors. I was a business owner now, and I needed plenty of hired help to keep my business humming for all the customers that would come through my door, right? Wrong! To make a long story short, it only took about one payroll period for me to realize that I had over hired and overstaffed my new restaurant. I quickly came to the decision that half of the staff that I hired would need to be let go. The worst part was, with no fault of their own, only the bad judgment of myself to blame, I had to let them go. It took me a good 3 years to build up a healthy staff again, and I never reached that mark of 16 employees before I sold that restaurant 5 years later.
What I want to point out here is not the fact that I did not reach a goal of churning customers through my store in mass quantities, but I dreamed about it. I did not reach my goal of staffing 16 people, ever while I owned my restaurant, but I dreamed that one day I would. I even got to the point that I was going to expand my business and move it into a 2400 sq ft building doubling the size of it, but I never made the move. So, what then did I achieve? I grew revenue 400% and sold the business for 450%. I did not achieve this by aiming for a pile of manure, I achieved this by setting my sights much higher, maybe they were to high, but now I can look back on my experience and see the successes much easier.
Each one of us has great potential. I think that too often we don't see that potential in ourselves and we settle. We lower our sights and we land right in the nice warm pile of manure, maybe we are more comfortable there, but let me reiterate, "The air is better UP there!" Let's set our sights higher and expect more from ourselves. One day we will be able to look back and realize we achieved more than we ever thought possible.
How often do we do just the opposite of this quote? I have always loved this quote because I have to shoot high. I know no other way, otherwise I find myself up to my eyeballs in stuff that frankly just gets sticky. How does that saying go, "the air is better up there."
Let me illustrate.
I once owned a restaurant. Now let me say right off the bat, holding all the liability for something of this nature was no easy task. I thought that just because I had worked for many years in the restaurant industry, I was now an expert in the matter. I have since learned, I have plenty to learn, and I am able to keep my mind open to the idea of constant learning.
When I first opened my restaurant I had big goals. I hired 16 employees right out of the gate and we opened the doors. I was a business owner now, and I needed plenty of hired help to keep my business humming for all the customers that would come through my door, right? Wrong! To make a long story short, it only took about one payroll period for me to realize that I had over hired and overstaffed my new restaurant. I quickly came to the decision that half of the staff that I hired would need to be let go. The worst part was, with no fault of their own, only the bad judgment of myself to blame, I had to let them go. It took me a good 3 years to build up a healthy staff again, and I never reached that mark of 16 employees before I sold that restaurant 5 years later.
What I want to point out here is not the fact that I did not reach a goal of churning customers through my store in mass quantities, but I dreamed about it. I did not reach my goal of staffing 16 people, ever while I owned my restaurant, but I dreamed that one day I would. I even got to the point that I was going to expand my business and move it into a 2400 sq ft building doubling the size of it, but I never made the move. So, what then did I achieve? I grew revenue 400% and sold the business for 450%. I did not achieve this by aiming for a pile of manure, I achieved this by setting my sights much higher, maybe they were to high, but now I can look back on my experience and see the successes much easier.
Each one of us has great potential. I think that too often we don't see that potential in ourselves and we settle. We lower our sights and we land right in the nice warm pile of manure, maybe we are more comfortable there, but let me reiterate, "The air is better UP there!" Let's set our sights higher and expect more from ourselves. One day we will be able to look back and realize we achieved more than we ever thought possible.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Thought Precedes Our Action
"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory." - Ralph Waldo Emmerson
The past week has been a very busy week for me. I have attempted on 3 occasions to write the next segment of my fledgling blog, but as I sat back and contemplated the best words of wisdom that I could possibly impart... I fell asleep.
I started this blog for a number of reasons. First, my mother was a writer, her dream was to write screenplays and hit the big time. I feel like she passed on to me an ability to write. Second, I have been told that I am good writer. In one of my English classes at school I jumped to the conclusion that red pen on every page of my paper, meant that I failed at my attempt to be a writer. When I reached the final page of the paper, after I berated my teacher with questions about how I could have done so poorly, I notice that I received an "A" on the paper. The red pen, in this case, was not because I failed, but because I could improve. Third, I have always loved quotes, and I have gathered them for some time. I appreciate quotes for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is because they change my thoughts. Fourth, I have also thought for a while that maybe one day I would write a book, but I have never done anything to reach that goal. And fifth, and maybe the biggest reason of all, if "Snooki" can sell a book that someone will read, well I should be able to achieve my goal one day too.
So, what does any of this have to do with anything? In all of this ramble, I am trying to paint a picture of what it might take for some of us to accomplish what we really want to achieve. For some, our goal may be to write, for others the goal may be to learn how to cook, have a family of our own, finish school, move out of the house, become a doctor, or an astronaut. We all have goals, right, but do we always know how to achieve them? I don't think we do, but I believe we think about our dreams, our goals, our deep down desires until the draw to action becomes so great, that we can't hold back any more, and we act!
One of the readers of this very blog made a statement that started me on this line of thinking. He said, "There are so many great quotes, but the real test is how they change what you're doing and make you better." Until our thoughts come full circle, and create a desire that BURNS within us to do something, we will be content to continue to do nothing. Each of us makes a choice each day to stay the same, or we can learn, grow, and ultimately change. Let us push ourselves a little more to change our thoughts and act!
Now, here is a challenge to you. Will you act or be content to do nothing? Leave a comment about what thoughts have motivated you into action to make a change. Help us all learn what it takes to think, act, and change!
The past week has been a very busy week for me. I have attempted on 3 occasions to write the next segment of my fledgling blog, but as I sat back and contemplated the best words of wisdom that I could possibly impart... I fell asleep.
I started this blog for a number of reasons. First, my mother was a writer, her dream was to write screenplays and hit the big time. I feel like she passed on to me an ability to write. Second, I have been told that I am good writer. In one of my English classes at school I jumped to the conclusion that red pen on every page of my paper, meant that I failed at my attempt to be a writer. When I reached the final page of the paper, after I berated my teacher with questions about how I could have done so poorly, I notice that I received an "A" on the paper. The red pen, in this case, was not because I failed, but because I could improve. Third, I have always loved quotes, and I have gathered them for some time. I appreciate quotes for many reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is because they change my thoughts. Fourth, I have also thought for a while that maybe one day I would write a book, but I have never done anything to reach that goal. And fifth, and maybe the biggest reason of all, if "Snooki" can sell a book that someone will read, well I should be able to achieve my goal one day too.
So, what does any of this have to do with anything? In all of this ramble, I am trying to paint a picture of what it might take for some of us to accomplish what we really want to achieve. For some, our goal may be to write, for others the goal may be to learn how to cook, have a family of our own, finish school, move out of the house, become a doctor, or an astronaut. We all have goals, right, but do we always know how to achieve them? I don't think we do, but I believe we think about our dreams, our goals, our deep down desires until the draw to action becomes so great, that we can't hold back any more, and we act!
One of the readers of this very blog made a statement that started me on this line of thinking. He said, "There are so many great quotes, but the real test is how they change what you're doing and make you better." Until our thoughts come full circle, and create a desire that BURNS within us to do something, we will be content to continue to do nothing. Each of us makes a choice each day to stay the same, or we can learn, grow, and ultimately change. Let us push ourselves a little more to change our thoughts and act!
Now, here is a challenge to you. Will you act or be content to do nothing? Leave a comment about what thoughts have motivated you into action to make a change. Help us all learn what it takes to think, act, and change!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Life is a Journey
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"- Confucius
I started my post high school career a little on the naive side. My first semester started excitedly as a new student in 1998. I thought that if I took enough credits to become a "full-time" student, then 4 years later I would be a college graduate. I learned very quickly, that was not the case. Since that first semester of classes started, I started working, I changed my degree, and I started dating a wonderful girl. Before I finished my final semester, I started and stopped school more than once because of little things that came along such as, getting married, starting my own restaurant, and having 2 kids. By the time I finished, I was just happy I wasn't 30 yet.
When I started my journey of what I thought would be a few miles, I had no idea what life had in store for me. I have realized a lot of firsts, I have realized my share of great excitement, and I have realized more than a few disappointments. What I ultimately have realized though, was that when I started my journey of a thousand miles, I would be tested to make a different decision after I took that first single step... I would have to take the second step also.
Each day, we have a great opportunity to look at our lives and make a decision. The decision to take another step on our journey of a thousand miles. At the beginning, it is easy to start our journey, full of enthusiasm and excitement, but what do we do when we come face to face with unexpected disappointments that can turn the expectations in our minds into little more than a fleeting thought to continue on. What makes the destination worth reaching? It is keeping our minds, and feet moving in a direction with forward momentum. Each day we have to make that choice again. As we gain experiences that weave our decisions into wisdom, that choice becomes easier to make and it is nearly an after thought only.
Continue to make great choices and share with us, some of the great choices you have made even though it was difficult. We can all be motivated by how others overcome the draw to give in, give up, or just slow down, but we can learn more from how we overcome that desire and continue on, better and stronger than when we started.
I started my post high school career a little on the naive side. My first semester started excitedly as a new student in 1998. I thought that if I took enough credits to become a "full-time" student, then 4 years later I would be a college graduate. I learned very quickly, that was not the case. Since that first semester of classes started, I started working, I changed my degree, and I started dating a wonderful girl. Before I finished my final semester, I started and stopped school more than once because of little things that came along such as, getting married, starting my own restaurant, and having 2 kids. By the time I finished, I was just happy I wasn't 30 yet.
When I started my journey of what I thought would be a few miles, I had no idea what life had in store for me. I have realized a lot of firsts, I have realized my share of great excitement, and I have realized more than a few disappointments. What I ultimately have realized though, was that when I started my journey of a thousand miles, I would be tested to make a different decision after I took that first single step... I would have to take the second step also.
Each day, we have a great opportunity to look at our lives and make a decision. The decision to take another step on our journey of a thousand miles. At the beginning, it is easy to start our journey, full of enthusiasm and excitement, but what do we do when we come face to face with unexpected disappointments that can turn the expectations in our minds into little more than a fleeting thought to continue on. What makes the destination worth reaching? It is keeping our minds, and feet moving in a direction with forward momentum. Each day we have to make that choice again. As we gain experiences that weave our decisions into wisdom, that choice becomes easier to make and it is nearly an after thought only.
Continue to make great choices and share with us, some of the great choices you have made even though it was difficult. We can all be motivated by how others overcome the draw to give in, give up, or just slow down, but we can learn more from how we overcome that desire and continue on, better and stronger than when we started.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Self Limiting Thought
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bull@!#$ story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” - Jordan Belfort
I have a young son that is learning about this self defeating thought process. As most children at some point must learn, my son has learned how to tie his shoes. The first few attempts were shaky at best, and the complaint was usually that the shoe did not tie tight enough. As time progresses, the mind changes from "I don't know how to tie my shoes," to "I can do it." There is actually a sense of pride in the fact that something new has been learned. Unfortunately, it has progressed beyond these words to, "Dad, will you tie my shoe for me." As a father, I have adopted the theory that if my son has been taught, and if he has exhibited the ability to do for himself, that which he is asking me to do, then I choose not to offer assistance. As you might imagine, this has not always been a popular decision with my son. I usually attempt to articulate to my son the reasoning behind my apparent madness. At some point in the exchange, I ask him why he doesn't want to tie his own shoes and his response is, "because I can't."
The really amazing point of this is that he can. I know he can, because I have seen him do it. He knows he can, because he has done it in the past. The issue is that once he utters those words, "I can't," then he is done. He is absolutely right. He has effectively limited his own potential and no amount of coaxing will bring him back to his senses, until he decides that once again... he can.
How often do we entertain this thought in ourselves. We might have heard this limiting phrasing before. "I am not a runner, I could never run a marathon." "I am not pretty enough, no one would date me." "I am not smart enough, school isn't my thing." We have all heard these statements swirling around us, and if we are really honest, we may have uttered these words ourselves.
The truth is we can do it, and it does not matter what it it is that we are thinking about doing.
So, here is the challenge. Remove these thoughts from our lives, work to remove the limits that we place on ourselves because we can achieve greatness. We can dream for something more than what or where we are right now. We may have to be patient with the circumstances that we find ourselves in currently, but by removing from our vocabulary the words "I can't," and replacing them with the words "I can," incredible things can, and will happen.
I have a young son that is learning about this self defeating thought process. As most children at some point must learn, my son has learned how to tie his shoes. The first few attempts were shaky at best, and the complaint was usually that the shoe did not tie tight enough. As time progresses, the mind changes from "I don't know how to tie my shoes," to "I can do it." There is actually a sense of pride in the fact that something new has been learned. Unfortunately, it has progressed beyond these words to, "Dad, will you tie my shoe for me." As a father, I have adopted the theory that if my son has been taught, and if he has exhibited the ability to do for himself, that which he is asking me to do, then I choose not to offer assistance. As you might imagine, this has not always been a popular decision with my son. I usually attempt to articulate to my son the reasoning behind my apparent madness. At some point in the exchange, I ask him why he doesn't want to tie his own shoes and his response is, "because I can't."
The really amazing point of this is that he can. I know he can, because I have seen him do it. He knows he can, because he has done it in the past. The issue is that once he utters those words, "I can't," then he is done. He is absolutely right. He has effectively limited his own potential and no amount of coaxing will bring him back to his senses, until he decides that once again... he can.
How often do we entertain this thought in ourselves. We might have heard this limiting phrasing before. "I am not a runner, I could never run a marathon." "I am not pretty enough, no one would date me." "I am not smart enough, school isn't my thing." We have all heard these statements swirling around us, and if we are really honest, we may have uttered these words ourselves.
The truth is we can do it, and it does not matter what it it is that we are thinking about doing.
So, here is the challenge. Remove these thoughts from our lives, work to remove the limits that we place on ourselves because we can achieve greatness. We can dream for something more than what or where we are right now. We may have to be patient with the circumstances that we find ourselves in currently, but by removing from our vocabulary the words "I can't," and replacing them with the words "I can," incredible things can, and will happen.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Looking for Improvement
"Never criticize improvement, no matter how small" anonymous
I have to start this blog off with this particular quote. I may say this, as it pertains to many quotes I reference, but this is truly one of my favorites. One of the reasons why I appreciate the sentiment that this quote communicates, is because day in, and day out, we have to make improvements in our lives. Much of the depression and heartache felt in this world is a direct result of not focusing in on this mantra. I think that if individuals would be more patient with each other, and themselves, not because they expect mediocrity out of humanity, but because in general, people are just doing the best that they can in their lives.
This example can be seen hundreds of thousands of times across many customer service exchanges that occur each day. A great example of this can be missed in the short term and never realized in the long term if we are not looking for and simply expecting improvement.
I am a manager at a credit union. Now this particular credit union got into trouble. You could say that the economy was bad, you could say that there were poor decisions made in management. You might even be able to narrow it down to the point that you can say, there is one person that made us fail, but the reality is, there were many reasons why we failed. I choose to believe that many variables created the environment that allowed us to fail, but even today, we have not closed our doors. The name has changed, your account number has changed, and you may even notice that you have a MasterCard debit card instead of a VISA debit card, but the improvement has happened. The universe has not conspired against you to make life more difficult and you can see the improvement if you are looking for it.
Where is this improvement to be found? You can find it in the lives of each employee that is stronger because they stuck it out through pay cuts, layoffs and budget slashing. You can find it in the merger of a small credit union that was years away from being able to afford the technology that would allow better access, products, and resources to its membership. You can now find it with the backing of a large institution that has been disciplined enough to put themselves into a position to even offer assistance to a small financial institution that WAS failing. You can find it in the membership who has been loyal to their credit union through the good and the bad. The credit union is not failing any more. It is thriving, and it will continue to do so. Why you might ask, because the individuals are trying today, to do a little better tomorrow.
This is not about business, this is about life. Each one of us has within us our own expectations of what we want out of life. Each day we are working towards that vision. Each day we either move closer to our goal, or farther from it, but if we stop and look around us for a brief moment, we might realize that we are not the same person that we were a month ago, a year ago, or a decade ago. Do we really want to be? No, we want to improve, we need to improve, it is what makes life worth living. Why are the ruts in life so hard to climb out of? Because we are not improving. Stop criticizing that the improvements that we are looking for are not coming fast enough, and just make sure that improvements are occurring and life will seem much more enjoyable.
Well, there you have it. My first quote, but now is the part where you come in. Do you agree, or disagree? Am I off my rocker, or not? Leave a comment, leave a story of why this might ring true for you, and maybe, just maybe, we can learn something from each other and make a small improvement in our own lives.
I have to start this blog off with this particular quote. I may say this, as it pertains to many quotes I reference, but this is truly one of my favorites. One of the reasons why I appreciate the sentiment that this quote communicates, is because day in, and day out, we have to make improvements in our lives. Much of the depression and heartache felt in this world is a direct result of not focusing in on this mantra. I think that if individuals would be more patient with each other, and themselves, not because they expect mediocrity out of humanity, but because in general, people are just doing the best that they can in their lives.
This example can be seen hundreds of thousands of times across many customer service exchanges that occur each day. A great example of this can be missed in the short term and never realized in the long term if we are not looking for and simply expecting improvement.
I am a manager at a credit union. Now this particular credit union got into trouble. You could say that the economy was bad, you could say that there were poor decisions made in management. You might even be able to narrow it down to the point that you can say, there is one person that made us fail, but the reality is, there were many reasons why we failed. I choose to believe that many variables created the environment that allowed us to fail, but even today, we have not closed our doors. The name has changed, your account number has changed, and you may even notice that you have a MasterCard debit card instead of a VISA debit card, but the improvement has happened. The universe has not conspired against you to make life more difficult and you can see the improvement if you are looking for it.
Where is this improvement to be found? You can find it in the lives of each employee that is stronger because they stuck it out through pay cuts, layoffs and budget slashing. You can find it in the merger of a small credit union that was years away from being able to afford the technology that would allow better access, products, and resources to its membership. You can now find it with the backing of a large institution that has been disciplined enough to put themselves into a position to even offer assistance to a small financial institution that WAS failing. You can find it in the membership who has been loyal to their credit union through the good and the bad. The credit union is not failing any more. It is thriving, and it will continue to do so. Why you might ask, because the individuals are trying today, to do a little better tomorrow.
This is not about business, this is about life. Each one of us has within us our own expectations of what we want out of life. Each day we are working towards that vision. Each day we either move closer to our goal, or farther from it, but if we stop and look around us for a brief moment, we might realize that we are not the same person that we were a month ago, a year ago, or a decade ago. Do we really want to be? No, we want to improve, we need to improve, it is what makes life worth living. Why are the ruts in life so hard to climb out of? Because we are not improving. Stop criticizing that the improvements that we are looking for are not coming fast enough, and just make sure that improvements are occurring and life will seem much more enjoyable.
Well, there you have it. My first quote, but now is the part where you come in. Do you agree, or disagree? Am I off my rocker, or not? Leave a comment, leave a story of why this might ring true for you, and maybe, just maybe, we can learn something from each other and make a small improvement in our own lives.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
The First Official Post
Well, I guess today is the day. I have thought that I would one day be some sort of a writer. Today is officially that day in all its amateurish glory. I have a blog. And what could I possibly write about that would interest anyone to take notice, to listen, and or to interact with me.
If you know me at all, you will know that I love quotes. At work I consistently refer to "one of my favorite" quotes. For Christmas, people think to themselves, " what should we get Bill?" oh, I know, a quote book. I have to say, I do not mind in the least bit. So, that is what I going to write about, quotes. All kinds of quotes. My hope is that the quotes that I choose to write about will inspire, motivate, show perspective, but even more, I hope that it helps you to change. I hope that it helps me to change... Some days, the quotes may be funny, or serious, or sad, but what ever emotion that you feel, about whatever it is that you read, I hope that it makes you want to leave a comment. Share with me if you like my quotes as much as I do, or tell me how much you hate it. Maybe, I am the one that needs to change perspective.
The title of my blog is "Quotes in Action." The reason that I chose this title is because I want to hear about how these quotes ring true to you. Each day that I make a post, it will start with the quote, then I will illustrate the quote with a story, followed by my commentary. From there I hope to get your input. Share your stories, your commentary, and opinions. That is what is going to make this great or not.
Well... here it goes then. if you have any suggestions, just send them my way! Until then, tune in tomorrow for the first quote
If you know me at all, you will know that I love quotes. At work I consistently refer to "one of my favorite" quotes. For Christmas, people think to themselves, " what should we get Bill?" oh, I know, a quote book. I have to say, I do not mind in the least bit. So, that is what I going to write about, quotes. All kinds of quotes. My hope is that the quotes that I choose to write about will inspire, motivate, show perspective, but even more, I hope that it helps you to change. I hope that it helps me to change... Some days, the quotes may be funny, or serious, or sad, but what ever emotion that you feel, about whatever it is that you read, I hope that it makes you want to leave a comment. Share with me if you like my quotes as much as I do, or tell me how much you hate it. Maybe, I am the one that needs to change perspective.
The title of my blog is "Quotes in Action." The reason that I chose this title is because I want to hear about how these quotes ring true to you. Each day that I make a post, it will start with the quote, then I will illustrate the quote with a story, followed by my commentary. From there I hope to get your input. Share your stories, your commentary, and opinions. That is what is going to make this great or not.
Well... here it goes then. if you have any suggestions, just send them my way! Until then, tune in tomorrow for the first quote
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